So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
