let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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