are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize