This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
