put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize