are you still at the devil's house?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
