oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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