I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
