My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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