...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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