If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
