i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
