You're a womanizer and a bitch.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
