So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
