If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize