I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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