i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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