i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize