Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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