You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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