My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
