I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
