Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
