The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize