I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize