careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
