There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Pooping to opera.
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