I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
