He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
