I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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