I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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