I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
