Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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