Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She told me I should be a condom model.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
