so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
