where's my purse there's an important taco in it
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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