Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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