So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
