I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize