Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
