Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
