I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
someone owes me an orgasm
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize