would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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