her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
