he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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