check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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