Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize