i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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