I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
