I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
