I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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