Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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