do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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