Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I want to fling myself into the sun
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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