I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
sarcasm needs its own font
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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