our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
