girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
