you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dick very happy bro
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
