who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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