Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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