good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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