I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
operation harelip BJ is a go
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just invented taco cereal.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
