it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize