dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
